Seven Deadly Topics #3 --- Sexual Orientation: Celibate

Feast of Ss. Soter and Caius, Bishops and Martyrs.

So, I've got a lot of things I should be doing, but instead I'm going to throw down here in the Blogosphere. Because I am very, very angry.

Why, in the name of all the saints in heaven and on earth, is it so wrong for a person in this society to NOT be having sex? Yes, I'm asking this in all seriousness.

We've got these giant battles going on in our Church today about the 'sexual orientation' of our leaders. Quite frankly, in my mind, what people who aren't me are doing with their clothes off is none of my damn business, and honest to God, I really don't want to make it any of my damn business. I've got more important things to worry about (like, oh, the Vestry minutes I'm two weeks late with typing up, and my laundry, and finding a teaching gig for next year...)

However, have you noticed something about all this 'sexual orientation' talk? It has an underlying assumption that I think this culture has buried so deep that it's now our collective subconcious.

By claiming a sexual orientation, the assumption is that you're having sex.

No, really. Think about it. The best example is the Roman Catholics, who, in theory, have that other option that people rarely talk about, celibacy. Their priests are all supposed to be celibate, no sex at all, at all. But now they're dividing them into two camps: homo-sexual and hetero-sexual.

Waitaminute, if you're never, no never, no never going to have sex 'cause you promised your bishop, your mother, and your God that you wouldn't, what, in the Name of all that's Good and Holy, does it matter if someone says you're hetero-sexual or homo-sexual?

(And don't you be thinking that if, by some wild and completely random chance I ever come into the presence of the Pope, I'm not going to open with that. If he's really lucky, I might say "Hello, Your Holiness" first.)

So, we've outlined the playing field: hetero-sexual or homo-sexual. That's the extent of the spectrum in our dualistic society; any freak who says they're somewhere between the black and the white (bi-sexual) is just a slut.

These options suck.

And the fact that I don't spend a good portion of my time 1) searching for someone to have sex with and/or 2) whining because I'm not having sex, that makes me the freak of nature! Because, dear God, we can't imagine a human being out there who isn't an unbridled lustmonkey acting out on their hormones. That's umpossible! The teevee and the novels and the glossy magazines that do nothing but talk about the sex lives of famous people tell us so!

But please, please, please, for the love of God, can we try to imagine this person, who isn't ruled by hormones and the media? And not imagine them as someone who's so afraid of an Angry God what's got a lightning bolt with their name on it that they can't let themselves enjoy life, even a little? Can we imagine this person, this example, and use them to explain to the children growing up in a society where sex is used to sell chewing gum and lettuce that there is another option?

Can we, for once, admit that yeah, sex is nice, but it's not the only thing in this wide, wonderful world of ours?

Please?
Pretty please?
With sugar on top?




The original Seven Deadly Christian Blog Topics post (with links to the others in this series) can be found here.