A Litany for St. Patrick's Day

From flat beer and stale ale,
Deliver us, O Lord!

From drunken frat boys and inebriated sorority girls,
Deliver us, O Lord!

From green glowsticks and Mardi Gras beads in the shape of shamrocks,
Deliver us, O Lord!

From abominations done in the name of cabbage and corned beef,
Deliver us, O Lord!

Bow your heads unto the Lord:
Dear Father, who gave us St. Patrick's Day as a festival of our heritage, not only as Irish people but as Christians, please look kindly upon your children, Hiberian or no, who celebrate this day. Keep the revelers safe from harm to others, themselves, and their livers, and get us all safely home at the end of the night. And we pray, together with Holy St. Patrick, Holy St. Brigid, and all the company of Irish saints, in the name of Jesus Christ, who, with You and the Holy Spirit, reign forever, one God. AMEN.