I've been arguing on the Internet / Even when I win, I lose

You want to quibble over language? Become a lawyer, and then you, too can debate what the precise meaning of 'is' is.

You want to quibble over language and denounce people's souls to Hell? Become a Christian and get a blog.

You want to laugh your behind off? Read this article called The Interpretave Dance Theocrats, that defines some of the... special words that Christians use.

Premillenialism
This is the belief among some Christians that, ever since Jan. 1, 2000, it has no longer been possible, in the words of the Prince song, "to party like it's 1999." Postmillenialists are those Christians who believe that it will always be possible to do so, while Amillenialists believe that in this context, "1999" cannot be understood literally, but must be read as an allegorical term roughly meaning "a time at which it is especially appropriate to party."

Wait, wait, one more...

The Emerging Church
This is a term that refers to churches attended exclusively by white people in their 20s and 30s who have at least one tattoo or body piercing. Their distinguishing characteristics are a refreshing, "up to date" interpretation of Christianity, and a reluctance to directly answer questions.

(Thanks to Rev. Sam at Elizaphanian for the link.)